To our religious members: Official club training is over, go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
To our nerdy members: Congratulations, you have finished Game Level 1 and are now on the Christmas Bonus Round. Collect enough Brownie Points over the next two weeks to proceed on to Game Level 2.
To our alcoholic members: The 12 days & nights of Christmas has finally arrived. It’s party time.
To Ronan ‘The Grinch’ O’Driscoll: Leave Christmas alone!
To Seán ‘I feel depleted’ Gleeson: It’s carbo loading time.
To the new slim line Santa Keith: have a mince pie…sure what harm will it do? ah go on!
To all those we slag off on the website: don’t sue, we love ye really.
To everyone else: The club would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas! Enjoy the Christmas break. Go nuts. Put in some quality time with the family. Watch the old version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang while curled up on the couch. Dress up as Santa Claus. Shovel the mince pies and USA assorted biscuits into your mouth. Drown yourself in mulled wine and Blue Nun. Have the traditional Christmas family row after one or two Christmas drinks too many. Go to Mass for the first and last time this year. Take part in the Christmas Day run or jump into the freezing cold lake in Youghal. Hit the early sales. You have two weeks to get it all out of your system because CLUB TRAINING RESUMES ON SATURDAY, JAN 5TH.